Jealousy
by gsrfan1
Summary: Of all the dealy sins, Ray knew one particularly well.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Jealousy

Author: gsrfan

Summary: Of all the seven sins, Ray knew one of them particularly well.

Rating: M (for occasional language)

A/N: Told you I'd finally write it Mooncat.

Thanks go to moonlightenchantments, who got me to stop being lazy and finally write this. Didn't turn out the way I had originally planned, but its not that bad… I think.

Chapter 1

Neela shook her head in disbelief as Ray started on his third slice of pizza, he'd been eating junk all day.

'**Where does he put it all?'**

"What?" Ray asked as he dropped pepperoni all over the desk.

"I'm just wondering how you can eat all the crap that you do and still look like…." She stopped herself hoping he couldn't see her flush.

"Look like what?" he asked putting down the pizza, teasing Neela was better than food.

"Nothing," Neela said avoiding the question,

"Come on Neela," he smiled, "How do I look?"

Neela wished the floor would swallow her whole as everyone at the admit desk turned to face her.

"You know how you look," she said smiling through gritted teeth,

'**He's enjoying this! He's so dead."**

Ray beamed, he knew he shouldn't think it, but watching her squirm was fun. Neela looked him the eye telling him to back off, but he just crossed his arms waiting for answer.

'**I'm dead'** he thought, '**but it'll be worth it.'**

Neela looked at the floor and breathed in deeply, he'd won and she knew it.

"Youlookgood," she mumbled, stringing the words together.

"I look what?" he asked putting his hand to his ear, "didn't quite catch that."

"You look good!" she said exasperated as he grinned at her.

"Sorry what?" he asked again, as Abby and the others laughed, deepening the redness of Neela's cheeks.

"Don't push it Barnett," she smiled, finally joining in with the joke.

"Well thanks," he smiled, "You're not too bad yourself."

'**Not bad!'** his mind chuckled, **"she's the hottest person you've ever seen and you know it!'**

"What I want to know is how either of you know what the other is like?" Abby teased, "You two been playing doctor at home as well?"

Ray dropped the slice of pizza he had just picked back up and looked straight at Neela who looked like the world had just stopped spinning.

"Relax guys, it was a joke." Abby smiled, she knew full well that nothing was going on but it was too good to resist.

'**Man, they're jumpy.**' she thought.

"Dr. Barnett, I can't see that pizza on my admit desk and floor right now, but unless it's gone in the next five seconds my vision may improve." Weaver said from behind them.

Ray dropped to his knees hiding whatever remnants of pizza he could find, Neela smiled at him on the floor and had to bite her lip to stop certain thoughts she really shouldn't have at work.

Ray winked at her, and she almost stopped breathing. '**Tell me I imagined that.'**

"I'd like to introduce someone to you all," Dr. Weaver continued as Neela turned around to face her for the first time.

Her jaw dropped, her hands clenched and her breathing quickened.

'**You have got to be kidding me!'**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Ray looked over at Neela who looked like a deer caught in the headlights,

'**What's up with her?'**

"I'd like you all to meet Dr. Gibson; he's in town for a conference and wanted to see how things work here. I expect you to treat him with courtesy……"

Weaver's voice faded out as Neela looked at the man before her, who just smiled back.

'**This can't be happening. This is why you never sleep with Professors Neela.'** She told herself, **'it comes back to bite you in the arse.'**

Neela smiled back shyly, which was caught by Abby, who smiled herself as she caught on.

'**Dr. Gibson? _Neela's_ Dr. Gibson'**

"So," Weaver said, "I need someone to volunteer to be a guide."

Everyone stepped back and looked everywhere but at Weaver, who turned to Dr. Gibson.

"Such selflessness," she mocked,

"Not a problem," he said, his voice kind, "Neela can show me around."

"You know Dr. Rasgotra?" Weaver asked surprised,

Ray looked between Neela and Dr. Gibson, he had never seen her look so uncomfortable.

"Oh yes," he smiled, "she was my best student."

Neela cringed, this was her worst nightmare.

"Excellent, I'll leave you in her capable hands then." Weaver said walking away.

Dr. Gibson smiled and turned to Neela, the possible double entendre not lost on either of them.

"I'll meet you by the elevator," he said,

"Ok," Neela squeaked out before banging her head on the desk when his back was turned. "This is not funny," she said to Abby who was laughing.

"It is from where I'm standing," she smiled,

"Am I missing something?" Ray asked confused,

Neela looked at Ray and couldn't find the words,

'**How hypocritical am I going to seem? I complain about his dates and I slept with my professor.'**

"Wait a minute," Ray said, "Did something happen with you guys?"

Neela looked at Abby, her eyes pleading, **'Help me'.**

"I'll take that silence as a yes." Ray said sharply, jealously getting the best of him.

'**Oh oh," **Abby thought, '**Trouble in paradise.'**

"I've got to go," Neela said not meeting Ray's eyes. "See ya."

Ray tried to watch her walk away but Abby was blocking his view, tiptoeing, trying to look at him.

"What are you doing?" he asked,

"Just trying to see if the green eyed monster has taken over….. and he has." She smiled,

"My eyes are _always_ green Abby," he said, knowing what she was getting at. He wasn't jealous, no way, not even a little bit.

'**Yeah, you tell yourself that.'**

"Good point," Abby smiled, "so you're not the least bit jealous that he and Neela had a thing once."

"No of course not. I mean why would I be? He's old and …and ….and they haven't seen each other in years. He barely knows her now."

"So you're saying he's no competition for you?" Abby teased,

"Exactly" Ray smiled before he realised where this was going, "Not that I care." He added quickly when he realised he'd been trapped. "We're just friends."

"You don't believe that any more than I do." She smiled as she walked away.

"No I don't," he muttered to himself, "but she does."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Neela conducted her tour in uncomfortable silence; so many words in her head but none of them could be said.

"Are you ever going to talk to me?" he asked,

"This is the O.R., we have…." She started,

"You know that's not what I meant." He said stopping her in the hallway,

"I think we said all we needed to say a long time ago. Don't you?" she said sombrely.

"No, actually I remember me trying to talk to you and you shutting me out." He said searching out her eyes as he pulled her out of sight of the others in the corridor.

"Look, what happened is in the past. I want to keep it there…… what are you doing here?" Neela asked her voice barely a whisper.

"I came for the conference, I swear I had no idea you were here."

"Would you have come if you had?" she asked, "Actually don't answer that, I don't want to know."

"Neela," he said putting his hands on her arms, "I'm sorry about the way it ended."

"But you're not sorry it ended right?" she sighed,

"Neither are _you_," he replied, "We both knew it was never going to last."

"Yeah but we _both_ didn't know that you were going to leave in the middle of the night and treat me like a mistake for the rest of your life." She said willing her voice not to crack.

"Come on Neela, you're not as naïve as you're making yourself sound. Sure, we had fun, but we were worlds apart, in so many ways."

"I know that, I never expected a happily ever after for us. But I did expect common courtesy. If you wanted to break up, then fine, you should have been a man and told me. Not done what you did."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry." He sighed,

"Sorry?" Neela laughed cynically, "It's a bit late for that."

"Neela…." He started,

"I think we should continue our tour, _Dr._ Gibson." She said stressing his title, this was work, they couldn't do this here.

"Yes, you're right,_ Dr_. Rasgotra."

XXXX

"What's wrong with you?" Neela asked Ray as he skulked past her,

"He's coming down with something." Abby smiled as he ignored the question and walked away,

"What?" Neela asked worried,

"Jealousy," Abby explained,

"Yeah right." Neela smiled, "Nice try."

"I mean it, he sees Dr. Gibson as a threat to you and him."

"Well he doesn't need to." Neela muttered,

"Why? Your love for Ray too strong to be tainted?" Abby joked.

"I may have misled you about my relationship with Gibson. It didn't end well and there is no chance of it ever starting again."

Abby nodded her head, and smiled on the inside, noticing that Neela hadn't denied that she had feelings for Ray, who was heading back over to them.

"Ray," she smiled, "just the man we need."

Neela swallowed hard and squeezed her eyes shut,

'**I can't believe she just said that."** Neela cringed, knowing exactly what Abby was getting at.

"Really?" Ray asked, his spirits lifted by the notion that he was needed, "How can I help you ladies?"

"I want you to introduce Neela to your new friend," Abby smirked as she teased him.

Ray's smile turned to a frown,

'**She just can't leave it alone.'**

"Just drop it Abby," he warned calmly

"Drop what? " Neela asked feigning confusion, her interest peaked,

Ray swallowed hard and looked between them, especially Abby's determined look. She wasn't going to give in.

'**Just say it and get it over with.'**

"Abby seems to think that I'm jealous of Dr. Gibson," Ray said almost choking on the words, "Which is completely ridiculous."

Neela's heart sank, she had never really allowed herself to think that he might be interested, they were too different, but to hear that he thought it was ridiculous crushed her.

Ray felt a mixture of pain and hope as he saw the look on her face; he hated to think that he had hurt her, but couldn't help but imagine what that might mean.

"I just mean," he started, hoping to rectify his mistake, "that I don't like you."

'**Damn!!'** he screamed in his head, **'Are you trying to make it worse?'**

Neela felt tears sting her eyes but was determined not to show them, her mouth opening but unable to find a way to respond to that,

"No," he said waving his hands, "I mean I like you, ...you're my friend, but I just don't…. like you…..that way."

'**When did lying become so hard?'**

He looked at Neela, who just smiled weakly at him not knowing what to say, or even sure that she could speak.

Ray shifted uncomfortably, the silence deafening him.

"I uh, um……I've got to go," he said hastily as he walked away, cursing himself.

'**Why couldn't you just tell her?**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Are you mad at me?" Neela asked Ray as they got home, she'd barely seen him all day and whenever she had caught a glimpse of him she could have sworn he'd deliberately gone the opposite way.

"What? No, why would I be mad?" he asked cursing himself. He'd let this jealousy thing go too far and she had noticed, he had upset her.

"You've barely said a word to me all day. What did I do?"

"Nothing. It's fine," he smiled, trying to change the subject,

"Ok," Neela said putting down her stuff; she knew his attempts to end a conversation when she saw them.

"Is this because Abby thinks your jealous?" She blurted out, she'd wanted to start a conversation and that was the first thing she'd thought of.

'**Idiot!'**

"No" he snapped indignantly, finally reaching his limit of accusations for the day "contrary to popular belief Abby doesn't know everything and my life doesn't revolve around you. You can sleep with whoever you like. I don't care."

Neela stood rooted to the floor, shock immobilising her.

"It was just a question," she smiled nervously, tears welling up in her eyes, "I'm sorry."

"Neela wait…….." he said as she headed to the door, "I'm sorry, that was out of line. It's been a rough day. Forgive me?"

He bowed his head and smiled at her, his eyes begging forgiveness.

'**How can I say no to that?'**

"Sure," she smiled before going into her room.

Ray ran his hand across his eyes**, 'don't let this beat you.'**

He had never considered himself the jealous type but he was becoming far too well acquainted with that particular deadly sin for his liking.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Ray sat in the dark, TV remote in his hand, a million thoughts running through his mind.

"You know, that thing is much more fun if you turn it on." Neela joked motioning to the TV screen.

"Yeah, I've heard that," he said smiling at her,

"What are you doing?" she asked surveying his surroundings,

"Just thinking," he said moving over so she could sit next to him,

"Oh," she smiled, "so that's what that look is,"

"Very funny," he said nudging her,

"Care to share?" she said shrugging her shoulders,

"No, don't worry about it." He said, "Want to watch TV?"

"Sure," she smiled resting her head on his shoulder; she knew not to push it. Ray rested his head against hers, unable to stop the smile on his face.

'**Maybe I shouldn't be jealous,**' he sighed, **'Gibson may have had her in the past, but she was with him now.**

"Go ahead," Neela said sitting up again,

"What?" Ray asked in confusion,

"Say what you've been dying to say all day. That you can't believe that I slept my professor."

Ray opened his mouth but nothing came out, " I….. I…" he started before finding the words, "I have to admit it was a shock. I never pictured you as someone that would do that."

"Really? What _did_ you picture me as?" she asked,

'**Don't go there,'** Ray told himself as he tried to hide his blush,

"I don't know, I guess….. I pictured you as someone that would be more……" he paused trying to find the right word, " more……reserved than that. I mean that's the kind of thing that _I_ would do." He smiled shyly,

"Yeah I can imagine," Neela said, flushing as she realised the implications of that, "I just meant… I didn't mean that I imagine you….. you know…I'm going to shut up now," she flushed holding her head in her hands.

"It's ok," he smiled, "I know what you meant."

"Yeah," she smiled, "You know I'm not nearly as '_proper'_ as you all think I am."

"Oh really," Ray asked intrigued, "Do tell."

"Not a chance." She laughed,

"Oh come on, you can't say something like that then back out. This is _me_ you're talking to here, there's nothing you could've done that would shock me." He said winking at her.

'**I had to go and open my big mouth'** Neela cringed,

"Ok, if you don't want to tell me everything, we'll play truth or dare….. I get to ask all the questions." He added as an after thought,

"That's not fair," she whined playfully,

" I know, isn't it great? Ok first question…….Have you ever…… cheated on a test?"

"No," she answered automatically,

"Ok," he laughed, "guess that was kind of a given right?

XX XX

"I am not telling you that!" she said indignantly,

"Uh uh Neela, that's the rules, you _have_ to tell." Ray insisted.

"Ok then," she smirked, "If I tell you, _you_ have to tell me."

"Yeah you're right," he grinned, "stupid question, moving on."

"I thought so," she smiled triumphantly.

"Have you ever…… had a crush on someone you work with?" he asked, regretting it instantly, he didn't want to know the answer. He knew it wouldn't be him.

Neela's throat went dry, she had told the truth for all the other questions, but she couldn't for this one… could she?

"Um…..well…….Yeah, yes I have." She said nervously, she didn't have to say who right?

"Who?" Ray asked before he could stop himself.

'**Idiot!!'**

"Luka?" he guessed, as she wasn't forthcoming with the name.

'**Just say yes Neela,'** she told herself' **get it over with,'**

'**But it's not true,'** she countered, **'that wasn't a crush you had on him, it was a momentary bout of insanity'**

"No," she smiled shyly,

"Pratt?" he tried again, earning a shake of the head, "Morris….. Frank ….. Jerry?" he listed, silently praying that the answer would always be no, which thankfully it was.

"Well, then that only leaves me," he said flippantly, avoiding Neela's eyes.

Neela bit her lip, her heart pounding,

"And we both know that's ridiculous right?" he added,

"Why?" she asked before she could stop herself,

"What?" he asked caught off guard, that was the last thing he expected to hear,

"Why is it so ridiculous that I would have a crush on you?" she asked,

'**Stop talking!'** her mind screamed at her,

"You're fun, smart, kind of cute," she smiled shyly, earning one back from him, " Why wouldn't I like you?"

Ray stared at her, his words stuck in throat, this couldn't be real, she didn't just say those things to him.

"I….. I just …. I um….You….." He mumbled,

"Not that it would matter if I did right?" Neela said, "You don't like me." She finished self-deprecatingly, her heart in pieces.

Ray never regretted a lie more in his whole life, he clenched his fists and bit his lip to stop himself telling the truth, neither of them needed that.

"I think the game's over," Neela said standing up, "Goodnight."

Ray watched her walk away and cursed himself, holding his head in his hands.

'**When are you going to stop being such an idiot?'**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"Hey," Neela smiled nervously as she Ray across the nurse's desk, her little 'episode' last night still fresh in her mind,

"Hi," he swallowed, "I was um…. I uh….. do you want to go get some coffee later or something?" he asked, his nerves in shreds. "I need to talk to you about something."

He'd finally decided to stop hiding and tell her the truth.

"Sure," Neela smiled back curiously "after shift?"

"Perfect," he smiled, a weight lifted off his shoulders.

"Is this place ever going to be fully staffed?" Morris asked, " I've got a million patients here."

"Hey, earth to Ray and Neela!!," he said waving a hand between them breaking the moment, "Could you two lovebirds pull yourselves apart for a second and act like doctors."

They were both pulled back to reality, blushing profusely,

"No, no we're not….." Neela started,

"Yeah right, and Abby's a natural blonde," he countered, "This place is a joke." He said looking at the collection of charts in his hand.

"I wouldn't let her hear you say that," Ray smiled, desperately trying to change the subject, as Weaver rounded the corner, Dr. Gibson in tow.

"Too late." She smiled, "but help is at hand. Dr. Gibson has graciously offered his time this afternoon."

He turned and smiled shyly at Neela, who looked away while Ray just glared.

'**Just great! That's all I need.' **He thought he'd battled his demons the night before, but they were slowly regaining control**. 'I finally work up the courage and he has to turn back up. He's going to ruin everything.'**

"Careful Ray," Abby whispered, "I think I see your green eyed friend around the corner. And Morris…. Don't think I didn't hear the blonde comment… you'll pay."

Ray just ignored the comment and walked away as Morris hid behind his charts. She was right about his friend and right now all he wanted was to be alone.

XXXX

"I gave you can order Dr. Barnett." Dr. Gibson stated firmly, "Either follow it or leave my trauma room."

"_Your_ trauma room? Who died and made you king?" Ray asked resenting the man before him, he knew how to do his job and he had been pushing him all day.

"Ray," Neela said, "Stop it."

"Oh I should have known you'd side with him," Ray spat, all his insecurities pouring out, Neela just looked at him disgust. He didn't have to take it out on her.

"Ok that's it, both of you outside now. Let these people work." Dr. Gibson said ushering them into the hallway.

"Does this happen often?" Gibson asked, looking between Ray and Neela who were both trying to calm themselves down. "I asked a question."

Neela looked at him in surprise; she'd forgotten how superior he liked to act sometimes.

"Tom, this was just a one off. I'm sure Ray's sorry…." She started, indicating that Ray should continue.

"No _Tom_," Ray said stressing his name gruffly, "Ray isn't sorry and he doesn't need _Neela_ to speak for him either," he said turning his anger on her.

"Look Ray," Gibson began, "we seem to have gotten off to a bad start, maybe we can sort things out."

"I don't think so, you're not going to stop treating me like a child and _I'm_ not gonna start sleeping with you." He said eyeing Neela, "So I don't see how we can sort things out."

Neela stepped back in shock, unable to believe Ray's nerve.

'**Is that really what he thinks of me?'**

"Ok, you seem to know about my former relationship with Neela, but you should know that doesn't affect my judgement in any way."

"Yeah right, and Neela became your best pupil purely on grades too right?"

"Yes she did!" Neela said finally finding her voice. Ray looked at her and was knocked back by the ice in her eyes. "How could you think that I would……that I _could_….. I did not sleep my way through school I thought you knew me better than that."

"So did I" he said, "but you managed to keep him a secret, so what else are you hiding?"

"You self-righteous asshole!" Neela said staring him down, "You're not my father, my brother and you're certainly never going to be my boyfriend! I don't have to explain myself to you."

Her words broke through to him and he felt ashamed, he had accused her of a terrible thing, with no proof and no right.

"Neela… I" he started,

"No Ray, you're not talking your way out of this!" she said before walking back into the trauma room.

Ray went to follow her but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. He turned around and was met by disapproving eyes. Gibson held his hands up as Ray looked at him angrily.

"You should let her calm down. I've been on the wrong side of her temper before and it's not pretty." He advised.

Ray looked at the ground and swallowed hard,

"So you're honestly telling me that your relationship had no influence on her grades." Ray asked,

"Yes," Gibson said, "honestly, because we didn't start our relationship until _after_ she graduated."

"What?" Ray asked as his world collapsed around him, guilt crushing him.

"I can understand how you can expect it of me, but of her? Surely you of all people know better than that."

"Why _me_ of all people?" Ray asked,

"You're the only one that's in love with her." Gibson stated simply, "It's obvious. And before you practically called her a tramp, I think she was in love with you too."

"If only," Ray sighed, the idiocy of his actions weighing him down.

"No I mean it. She looks at you the way she used to look at me. I threw away my chance, don't do the same."

"Like she's ever going to speak to me again." Ray said sarcastically,

"Are you willing to take that risk? Talk to her."

Ray looked up expecting to see his unlikely ally but instead found himself looking into the dark brown eyes of his former best friend.

"You're in the way." She said with no emotion, "Move."

"Neela….."he started,

"Move!" She repeated, ignoring his attempts.

"Ok," he conceded, "you win." He stepped back and watched her walk down the corridor but hopefully not out of his life.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Neela closed the fridge door severely as once again she found it half empty. Ray flinched from his position on the sofa that was his fault too.

"I meant to go shopping." He said as an apology,

"Right," Neela glared, "maybe I should sleep with you. That seems to get me what I want right?"

"Ok I deserved that." Ray said, her words cutting him. "I'm sorry about what I said; you had to know I didn't mean it."

"I'm a just a brainless bimbo who shagged her way through med-school. How am I supposed to know that?" she fumed,

"That is not what I said." Ray defended himself,

"No, but it's what you meant." She told him, getting no reply, guilt silencing him, "See, you can't even deny it." She said heading towards the door.

"Where are you going? We need to talk about this." He said,

"I'm going where you're not, and no we don't need to talk about this. _We_ don't need to do anything ever again."

"You're going to see _him_ aren't you?" he asked,

"That's none of your business." She said her hand resting on the handle.

'**Neela just go,'** she told herself, '**before he talks you out of it'**

'Please don't go, I need to explain……" he started but the coldness of her stare froze the words before he could say them,

Neela pushed down on the handle, pulling the door towards her……

"Are you going to sleep with him?" he asked unable to stop himself. He could tell that she still had some kind of feeling for her old flame and right now he wouldn't blame her if she just did it out of spite.

"You know what Ray, that's really none of your business now is it?" she said narrowing her eyes at him, hoping he couldn't see the confusion that was in them. The truth was she didn't know if she was going to or not.

"I know," he said locking his eyes on hers, "but are you?" he asked, needing to know, but not wanting to all at the same time.

"You're priceless you know that?" she said softly, the look in his eyes not allowing her to stay mad at him, no matter how much she wanted to. "Like I said my life is…."

"No business of mine." He finished for her, "I know… but what if I want it to be?"

"What?" she asked, that had thrown her.

"What if I want what you do, and who you see, to be my business?" He asked stepping closer, "What if I want to be the only person in your life……. What if I want you?"

Neela just stared at him, the ice around her heart melting against her will and being replaced by confusion,

"What are you saying?" she asked her voice shaking as he took her hand in his.

"I'm saying that I love you, that I want you, that I _need_ you. That's what I wanted to tell you over coffee, but I had to open my big mouth without thinking and ruin everything." He said pouring his heart out to her. "I only said what I did was because I _was_ jealous."

"What do you expect me to say to that?" she asked, anger rising again, this was coming completely out of the blue. He was confusing her, making her feel too many things at once. She didn't know whether to love him or hate him right now.

'**How does he expect me to react to this? One minute he's accusing me of… of….'** She stopped unable to think it, **'and now he expects everything to be ok.'**

"Hopefully….. that you love me too." He smiled nervously, putting his hand against her cheek. "I know you've never shown any sign that you do, but I have to hope."

"I can't do this" she said shattering his hopes, "I … this is …I have to go.. I have to think about this. I'm sorry."

She turned and ran, leaving Ray stranded in the living room with nothing but his spilt emotions for company. Neela took a deep breath, the silence was suffocating her; she needed someone to talk to, someone to listen, someone to take the confusion away. Rounding the corner she knew just who that person was.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 7

"Neela?" Gibson asked as he opened his hotel room door, "How did you know I was here? Never mind." He added as he saw her tear stricken cheeks, "He told you?"

"What do you mean he told me? You knew about this?" she asked in disbelief,

"It was hard to miss." He said ushering her to a chair, "sit down, talk to me."

"I don't want to talk," she said trying to kiss him, "I just want to feel, for all of this to go away."

He pushed her back gently, wanting nothing more than to kiss her back, but his sense of right and wrong forbade it, "Neela, you don't want this. You know what you want; you're just too scared to take it."

"No, I don't know what I want…or do I?" she asked more to herself than him,

"You love him." Gibson said simply, "Isn't that enough."

"But do I?" she asked, "and what he said….." she continued,

"Is proof that you care for him more than you think you do." He smiled,

"How do you work that one out?"

"Why would his opinion hurt you so much if you felt nothing for him. He's not the first person to say that to you," he said reminding her of the past, "But you just brushed it off and ignored it, because they didn't know you. But with him you can't, because he _does_ know you and his opinion matters."

"Yeah," she sighed, "and what an opinion it is."

"Come on, you know he didn't mean it." Gibson said, "it was the jealousy talking, he wanted to get to me, not you."

Neela looked up at him and cried, "What am I going to do? He said he loved me and I just ran away. He must hate me."

"I think the fact he said he loves you kind of disproves that theory." He smiled,

"You need to go home and talk to him, tell him how you feel."

"Not tonight," she whispered, "Can I just stay here?"

"That's not a good idea," Gibson said,

"Just as a friend, I'll sleep on the sofa, I need to think. I can't tell him if I can't even tell myself."

"Ok," he said pulling her into his arms, realising for the first time how much he had missed that feeling.

XXXX

Neela crept out of the room as he slept knowing that he would understand, she smiled at the irony of it all. She had been furious when he had done this to her.

Across town Ray lay on his bed, his mind racing, berating himself for blurting everything out once

'**I should have taken it slow.'**

He had opened up, told her everything and she'd run away from him literally and figuratively.

'**I pushed too hard.'**

He knew know that he should have sat her down, talked to her rather than at her, but like they say, hindsight is 20:20. At the time, telling her everything had been his only option, as far as he could see. He couldn't let her leave not knowing, but now he had blown everything.

He snapped out of his daydream as he heard his name being called,

"You're home then," he said a little harshly as he saw her standing in the doorway, his damaged pride speaking before his wounded heart "Did you have fun?" He asked, assuming she had gone ahead with what she had intended to do.

"You're mad at me?" she said,

"No" he laughed, "I'm used to having my heart ripped out, doesn't make me mad at all anymore."

"Sarcasm really doesn't suit you, you know. You haven't lived with a Brit quite enough to pull it off" She smiled attempting to mend bridges.

Ray just turned around and headed back to his room, his bruised heart and ego hindering his sense of humour.

"Wait! Please," she pleaded, "You were right. We need to talk."

"Wouldn't you rather talk to lover boy?" he asked, "I know that's where you went."

"I guess you know me pretty well," she smiled timidly as he turned away from her again, "I didn't sleep with him," Neela said matter of factly, not wanting to play his games.

"I didn't say you did." Ray said, his heart silently exploding with joy.

"It's what you were thinking." She said, "I'm sorry I ran away. I didn't know what else to do."

"This." He said gesturing between them, "you could have talked to me."

Neela sighed and stared at the floor,

"I know… but I was confused… I didn't know whether to kiss you or kill you. I mean I loved you so much but I hated you just as badly."

Ray's heart jumped to his throat, '**she loves me,'**

'**No, she said _loved, _not love' **his head reminded him,

"No one has ever made me feel as cheap as you did then," she confessed, tears welling in her eyes,

Ray swallowed hard, it was his turn to talk but he didn't know what to say, nothing would be right.

"I'd say I was sorry, but that's never going to be enough is it." He asked his voice cracking,

"No," Neela answered walking towards him, "but it's a start."

"A start?" he asked,

"Yeah, I'm planning on sticking around for a while," she smiled lightly, "you have plenty of time to make it up to me."

Ray beamed as he pulled her into his arms and held her tight,

"I'll do anything, just name it." He whispered. "Yes mam," he smirked as she whispered something back to him.

He put his hand to her cheek and brushed his lips softly against hers, his hands moved of their own accord, holding her tightly against him, taking in every thing.

"Wow!" he breathed deeply pulling back.

"Yeah." She smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I love you"

He kissed her cheek and smiled, "I love you too. So just out of interest," he teased, "who _was_ your hospital crush on?"

Neela laughed and rested her forehead against his, "if you can't guess I'm not going to tell you."

"I think maybe I need some more clues," he said kissing her again, "Umm, getting there."

Neela grinned playfully him, slowing undoing the button at the bottom of her shirt, biting her lip and staring deep into his eyes.

"I think my green eyed friend can pack his bags for a permanent vacation." Ray said swallowing hard,

"What?" Neela asked,

"Never mind. You had to be there." He smiled kissing her again, slowly, deeply, memorising every second.

He picked her up and held her close to him, leaving one deadly sin to die in the living room while another one was bought to life in the bedroom.

The end

_Bet you can't guess which sin it was lol you're all too innocent for that._


End file.
